FORGIVENESS & RESTORATION 1
When I do my family tree for people, they always tell me how interesting it is. There is Dad, my two Mums, two sisters, 4 step sisters and 1 foster brother. Of course they are all grown up now, with families of their own, and I now even have some great-nephews and nieces.
I have been blessed, as unlike many step families, we haven't had any real problems, except maybe a little jealousy and hurt sometimes. At one stage in my life, I really struggled with jealousy, as one of my step sisters loved to monopolize my step mother's time. As a child and even as a young woman, I too craved my mother's attention. My attempts to reconcile with my sister, many years later, led to a misunderstanding and a rift between my mother and myself.
While on our recent holiday, we had a few little incidents with family that I have to say, because my husband and I are such sensitive people, were a little hurtful. We went down to Sydney to spend some quality time with our son and our daughter-in-law. It was the first time in 3 years and we were really looking forward to it. We were away for 5 weeks, and in that time, we had 2 days, where we just spent time with them, alone, as a lot of their time was spent with my daughter-in-law's family. She has a lovely family, but I am afraid Mark and I let that `green monster in' and we were both very disappointed.
I was determined not to let what happened with my mother repeat itself; for I valued their love and relationship too much.
"The wise (mature) are known for their understanding and pleasant words are persuasive."
Proverbs 16:21
"Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from His love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another and working together with one mind and purpose. Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't look out for your own interests, but take an interests in others too."
Philippians 2:1-4
Solomon taught us early on in the Scriptures that our ability to get along with others is a sign of maturity. Paul agreed. So I decided it was time I grew up. So I took Solomon's and Paul's advice, as well as that of my friends. After a night of intense prayer, I woke up ready the face the issue head on.
I went to speak to my son. I explained how his Dad and I were feeling. Like my Mum, many years ago, he didn't understand `why' we felt they way we did, and I was afraid I had caused another rift. Then suddenly there was this realization on both sides - call it maturity or a new understanding, but what followed was a time of forgiveness and acceptance- a day of fun and relaxation - just the four of us.
"God blesses those who work for peace, for they shall be called children of God". Matthew 5:9
I also learnt another lesson, when I realized that `old wounds' can also be healed when you take steps to reconciliation. I went and visited with my sister, enjoying one another's company and sharing what radiation therapy had done to our bodies. It dawned on me that `radiation therapy' had done to our bodies, what jealousy, anger and bitterness could do to a relationship.
I have some things I need to deal with myself before I am totally free from the `curse' of the `little green monster'. But as David reminds us:
"When my heart was filled with bitterness and my mind was seized with envy, I was stupid and did not understand. I was like a dumb animal in your presence. Yet I am always with You, You hold on to my right hand. With your advice you guide me and in the end you will take me to glory."
Psalm 73:21-22
I have been blessed, as unlike many step families, we haven't had any real problems, except maybe a little jealousy and hurt sometimes. At one stage in my life, I really struggled with jealousy, as one of my step sisters loved to monopolize my step mother's time. As a child and even as a young woman, I too craved my mother's attention. My attempts to reconcile with my sister, many years later, led to a misunderstanding and a rift between my mother and myself.
While on our recent holiday, we had a few little incidents with family that I have to say, because my husband and I are such sensitive people, were a little hurtful. We went down to Sydney to spend some quality time with our son and our daughter-in-law. It was the first time in 3 years and we were really looking forward to it. We were away for 5 weeks, and in that time, we had 2 days, where we just spent time with them, alone, as a lot of their time was spent with my daughter-in-law's family. She has a lovely family, but I am afraid Mark and I let that `green monster in' and we were both very disappointed.
I was determined not to let what happened with my mother repeat itself; for I valued their love and relationship too much.
"The wise (mature) are known for their understanding and pleasant words are persuasive."
Proverbs 16:21
"Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from His love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another and working together with one mind and purpose. Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't look out for your own interests, but take an interests in others too."
Philippians 2:1-4
Solomon taught us early on in the Scriptures that our ability to get along with others is a sign of maturity. Paul agreed. So I decided it was time I grew up. So I took Solomon's and Paul's advice, as well as that of my friends. After a night of intense prayer, I woke up ready the face the issue head on.
I went to speak to my son. I explained how his Dad and I were feeling. Like my Mum, many years ago, he didn't understand `why' we felt they way we did, and I was afraid I had caused another rift. Then suddenly there was this realization on both sides - call it maturity or a new understanding, but what followed was a time of forgiveness and acceptance- a day of fun and relaxation - just the four of us.
"God blesses those who work for peace, for they shall be called children of God". Matthew 5:9
I also learnt another lesson, when I realized that `old wounds' can also be healed when you take steps to reconciliation. I went and visited with my sister, enjoying one another's company and sharing what radiation therapy had done to our bodies. It dawned on me that `radiation therapy' had done to our bodies, what jealousy, anger and bitterness could do to a relationship.
I have some things I need to deal with myself before I am totally free from the `curse' of the `little green monster'. But as David reminds us:
"When my heart was filled with bitterness and my mind was seized with envy, I was stupid and did not understand. I was like a dumb animal in your presence. Yet I am always with You, You hold on to my right hand. With your advice you guide me and in the end you will take me to glory."
Psalm 73:21-22
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